As a parent you are always giving.
It is important that you allow time to give back to yourself.
When a baby enters your life, your world undergoes a profound shift. Parenthood is a journey filled with love and joy, tears and challenges. As life becomes busy nurturing and caring for your baby it is easy to begin to neglect your own needs. When you begin to overlook your own needs life starts to get a little harder. Your energy becomes depleted, and your mental and physical health can be compromised.
Self-care is a crucial component of ensuring good maternal health. Just as important is self-compassion. At times these terms are used interchangeably, but they are two very different concepts. Together they form a holistic approach in promoting parental wellbeing.
Self-Care
Self-care encompasses the intentional actions and practices that you do to look after your own physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It involves activities aimed at replenishing energy reserves, managing stress, and promoting overall health. While the activities will be different for everyone, they can be grouped into three areas
Physical Self-Care
This involves activities such as exercise, nutrition, adequate sleep, and attending medical appointments to maintain physical health.
Emotional Self-Care
Emotional self-care focuses on nurturing emotional well-being through activities such as journaling, practicing mindfulness, engaging in hobbies, and seeking support from loved ones or therapists.
Mental Self-Care
Mental self-care involves activities that stimulate cognitive growth and mental clarity, such as reading, learning new skills, and practicing relaxation techniques like meditation or deep breathing exercises.
Life is busy as a new parent and having a shower or finding time to make a healthy lunch can be a challenge. The thought of finding time for self-care actives can feel insurmountable. Start by looking at what is most important to you. Trying to meditate when you have had weeks of feeling sleep deprived may not be what you need right now. So, maybe for you at this moment your priority is to sleep when your baby sleeps rather than rushing round doing jobs. Exercise may not be a trip to the gym but putting your baby in a sling or the pram and go out into nature for a walk.
The key is to consciously find that time just for you. To find the things that fills your cup. Prioritising yourself is not being selfish. In fact, by not prioritising your self you are doing a disservice for those around you. By investing in yourself you will have more energy, greater reserves, better able to mange stress and have overall improved mental and physical health.
Self-Compassion
Self-compassion goes beyond self-care practices to includes a mindset of kindness, understanding, and acceptance of yourself amid the joys and struggles of parenthood. It involves treating yourself with the same compassion and care that one would offer to a friend or your child. Elements of self-compassion include:
Cultivating Self-Compassion
Take a few moments each day to tune into your thoughts and emotions without judgment. Mindfulness allows you to observe your inner experiences with greater clarity and compassion.
Challenge Self-Critical Thoughts
When negative self-talk arises, challenge it with self-compassionate statements such as, “It’s okay to make mistakes, I’m doing the best I can.” Reframe failures as opportunities for growth and learning. Parenting is messy. You will not get it right 100% of the time – and that’s ok. Be gentle on yourself. Talk to yourself as if you were caring and supporting your best friend.
Set Realistic Expectations
Recognise that perfection is unattainable. The images of perfection on social media have been planned, choreographed, and highly filtered.
Connect with Other Mothers and Find Your Village
Seek support from other like-minded parents who understand the challenges of parenthood. Ask for help. Motherhood was never designed to be a solo activity, especially if there is more then one child or if there are children with additional needs. Not all parents have a family network to lean on. Try to find those who can support you and provide you with that ever-important village.
Self-care and self-compassion play vital roles in nurturing your well-being and fostering resilience in the face of the demands of the beautiful chaos that is motherhood. While self-care focuses on tangible actions and practices aimed at replenishing your physical, emotional, and mental reserves, self-compassion involves cultivating a mindset of kindness, understanding, and acceptance toward yourself.